Pitfalls of Knowing How to Cook

"I was reckless. I was unhinged. I learned that rosemary and vanilla do not go with each other... or pork, for that matter."

Photo by Nik on Unsplash

I started failing at cooking as a teenager.

Some failures were spectacular: baking brownies on a cookie sheet (could stop bullets), using handfuls of jerk seasoning instead of tablespoons (leads to tongue PTSD), even trying to prep pork in the blender with rosemary and vanilla because I liked how it smelled together. (Please don’t ever do this.)

I was reckless.
I was unhinged.
I learned that rosemary and vanilla do not go with each other... or pork, for that matter.

But each failure was a discovery of what didn’t work.
Each failure was the price I had to pay to maybe do things a little differently, to discover what did.

Every time I went out to eat, I paid attention to what real chefs did with their ingredients.
Then, like a mad scientist, I’d experiment when I got home.
It became... fun.

Now? I specialize in Italian, Indian, and Asian cuisine. Maybe not the higher-level stuff.
But my lasagna is to die for, my curries are divine, and don’t make me take out my wok!

There’s a joy that comes from making pancakes from scratch (surprisingly easy, believe it or not. You really don’t need Bisquick) and seeing your girlfriend’s eyes light up when you get crazy with the French toast.

On the flip side of that joy is the curse.
The thing that few people think about.

When your sweet tooth hits at 3 a.m. demanding satisfaction?

Let’s just say the smallest recipe I have for cookies makes four dozen.
My cobblers are surprisingly versatile.
Bread pudding is not that difficult to make.
Compotes, caramels, and toffees, just gotta keep the heat under control.

Thank God I’m still figuring out how to work with yeast.
Fresh-baked bread would be my undoing, and cinnamon rolls...

It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, though.
For science!

When you know your way around the kitchen, you’re never truly out of options to ruin your diet.

–KC